I went to school and attended class, but my mind was somewhere else. I was thinking about last night. We've had bigger and more serious fights but last night, I finally had enough. It wasn't because of your insensitive remarks.... I just suddenly knew something I never did before--- or maybe I did, but I never wanted to believe it.
"Whatever.", that was the last message I read from you. I carefully removed my simcard from my phone and threw it away.
Day 2: Broken
I was up all night sooo as expected, I woke up late. I was late for school...again.
I haven't told anyone what happened the other night. No one knows and no one cares, not even you (as I found out later on). I didn't feel like telling anyone. I made this decision alone. No one was there when I told myself I was going to let you go. No one was there when I told myself that I've had enough. No one told me I was making the right choice or I was acting harshly. It was my decision. A decision I made for the both of us because you were too weak. You were too weak to admit you didn't love me.
I know you valued me. I know that there were times wherein you were genuinely happy with me. I know. I know because they were when I felt the happiest.
Day 3: Zombie
No sleep for the wicked!
I was up till dawn. I slept for 2 hours then went to school.
You occupy my mind. I was up all night thinking about you and I wondered if you were missing me too. I kept myself busy by reading "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera. I've been meaning to read it for sometime now but I haven't really read much since.. you.
After class, my teacher, Mam C. asked me to stay behind. She told me she's concerned about me. She said I haven't been myself lately and she's worried. She told me that she doesn't know what my problem is but whatever it is, it shouldn't make me forget my responsibilities. She's a really nice person and before I left she told me that I was beautiful and smart. It felt good.
Day 4: Waiting.
I was waiting. I didn't want to admit it, but I was. I was waiting. You never came.
I found my sim and after hours of contemplating, I opened my phone. 7 New messages. None were from you.
That's when I knew I made the right decision. If you really did love me, this blog post would never have existed. You would've been by my side on day day 1.
